During my freshman year at Boston University in 1983, my phone rang in the early morning hours. I stumbled across my messy dorm room and picked up the receiver. It was Dad. After a quick greeting, he said, ‘Listen — the US is going to invade Grenada. I’m telling you before it hits the news.’ …
Read more “My father was in the CIA. I’m trying to make peace with his complex legacy”
Being a spy is a choice for the parent but not for the kids — we’re born into secrecy. Years ago, I learned Stewart Copeland (drummer for ‘80s rock band The Police) had a dad in the CIA. I felt an instant kinship. It’s a unique club, the spy child one. We have more members …
I’m in this fascinating Podcast! CLICK HERE TO LISTEN Are our parents really who we think they are? Drummer with The Police, Stewart Copeland, sets out to uncover the truth about his father, Miles Axe Copeland ll – musician, raconteur, international businessman… and, it turns out, secret CIA operative. Going back to the 1940s …
For the past 12 years, I’ve been writing a book about secrets – my spy dad’s and mine. Every day that I wrote, I was immersed in feelings. Love. Sadness. Fear. Lots of that. But I just kept doing it – kept sitting with memories, doubts, and questions. I had so many questions. About my …
The Cuban flag now hangs at the newly re-opened Cuban embassy in Washington D.C. The Cold War freeze is thawing. But I wonder what Dad would have thought about these changes. He worked on the Cuban Missile Crisis after all, and growing up I remember hearing plenty of criticism of Castro and other totalitarian leaders. …
I was born in south Florida and from there moved from place to place, in the US and abroad. But despite all the wandering, I somehow absorbed the message that I should diminish myself and stay small. Maybe we all did. Maybe for me this message had its origins in my spy dad whose training …
My writing life began in private journals and remained there for years, until I was well into my 20s. I never considered sharing anything I wrote until one day, while I was working on a prose poem, the writing seemed to lift off the pages of my journal. There was a larger force creating my …
Read more “On Being a Private Person Who Writes (and publishes) Non-fiction”
Growing up, I learned an unspoken and unwritten rule: don’t ever talk about it. It being what Dad did for a living. If I talked about whatever “it” was, not only would I be betraying him, but I would also be putting him in danger. It wasn’t until I was twenty that I found …
As the daughter of a spy, no matter how often I publish or risk my truth – as I did with the most recent PEN Charlie Hebdo controversy – I can never fully shake the old message I grew up with that says “Don’t show yourself, don’t share your feelings, or single yourself out. Ever.” …
There’s a story out recently about a spy daughter who found out her dad was in the CIA during a long car ride, when she was 16. The first thing she said was, “My father’s an assassin.” I was twenty when I officially found out my dad was in the CIA. But it was a …
